thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
