You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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