My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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