She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
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BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
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literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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