He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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