The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
