Your tits are I can't wait for
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The uberlube is also flammable
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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