after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize