i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
