I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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