I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
