I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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