operation have a gay friend backfired
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
