He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
did i walk over a car last night?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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