I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
