question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
