I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
True strength comes from lack of pants
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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