Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
