Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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