omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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