i just wanna soil my oats bro
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
