Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
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The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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