May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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