I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize