I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
