Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
