She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
