so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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