something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
