everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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