cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
