It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
