census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize