Can Purell be used as lube?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
