can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize