It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
