You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.