We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
