i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction