Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?

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(212): yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT? http://tfl.nu/zjw1

Replies (28) Good night (658) Bad night (1968)
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(562): View more from California

Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar

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(562): Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar http://tfl.nu/ilql

Replies (6) Good night (807) Bad night (2291)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?

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(630): Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to? http://tfl.nu/fqx3

Replies (52) Good night (8616) Bad night (1263)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.

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(401): she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride. http://tfl.nu/b4k2

Replies (79) Good night (2146) Bad night (11058)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.

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(732): He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs. http://tfl.nu/h7d3

Replies (12) Good night (3683) Bad night (1093)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.

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(423): All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited. http://tfl.nu/itw0

Replies (8) Good night (2975) Bad night (902)
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(469): View more from Texas

You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.

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(469): You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk. http://tfl.nu/g688

Replies (2) Good night (2351) Bad night (685)
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(613): View more from Ontario

He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.

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(613): He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time. http://tfl.nu/b5xq

Replies (5) Good night (1156) Bad night (436)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some

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(307): who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some http://tfl.nu/7roh

Replies (9) Good night (967) Bad night (348)
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(954): View more from Florida

I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?

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(954): I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested? http://tfl.nu/lmn2

Replies (9) Good night (455) Bad night (1504)
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(708): View more from Illinois

i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard

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(708): i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard http://tfl.nu/5qs2

Replies (2) Good night (738) Bad night (627)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.

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(402): No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn. http://tfl.nu/c09n

Replies (1) Good night (267) Bad night (531)
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(602): View more from Arizona

His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.

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(602): His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers. http://tfl.nu/dqr9

Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (280)
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(509): View more from Washington

i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.

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(509): i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot. http://tfl.nu/0579

Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (287)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."

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(586): I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone." http://tfl.nu/272w

Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (298)

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