Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.

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(512): View more from Texas

we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us

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(631): View more from New York

i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture

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29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford

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(519): View more from Ontario

Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.

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(559): View more from California

Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"

(707): View more from California

Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.

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