No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
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I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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