dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
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this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins