You made me cry and you don't even care
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
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Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
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I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling