I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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