True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
