Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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