I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
