Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
