Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

she has a santa fetish

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

cute.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�

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(317): View more from Indiana

Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.

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(416): View more from Toronto

We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do

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(530): View more from California

I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!

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