did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.