i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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