She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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