you guys were way drunker than both of me
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
