I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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