i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
