She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
