Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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