you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
