Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
