I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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