who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
