How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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