she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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