He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
