I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
