Banned from zoo.
Again?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
