bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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