Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
